Ash Ketchum: Not So Ace Attorney
by Objectionifier
Summary: Ash is defending Brock after he is accused of murdering his own girlfriend. How will he fare when he ends up going against Gary, his greatest rival? Will he succeed? Or, is there more to this crime...? A birthday gift for the lovely immabeemee!


Ash looked down at his stacks of papers one last time, gripping onto them as if looking for an answer. He shot a nervous glance at the audience behind him, the Judge, and the prosecutor before looking back at his papers. A few seconds later, he cleared his throat and patted down his unruly hair.

"I'm ready," he told himself silently as the Judge banged his gavel.

All went silent as the judge nodded towards the prosecutor. "Is the prosecution ready?"

"Yes, gramps – I mean – The prosecution is ready, Your Honor." Gary Oak, Ash's longtime rival, nodded solemnly and shot Ash a smug grin; in secret, of course.

"And the defense?"

Ash held back a scowl and nodded. "Yes, Your Honor. The defense is ready… ish." The last part added in a small mutter, but it seemed like Gary had heard because he shot Ash another wicked grin before looking back at the Judge.

"You may begin your opening statement, then, Prosecutor Oak."

"Of course!" Gary said brightly, rubbing his nose. "Er-hem! There's not much to say, ya know? The defendant over there obviously killed his girlfriend because she broke up with him! I mean, it's all in the evidence! We even have an awesome witness who saw the murder himself! Three, even!"

Gary jerked his head towards the defendant, Brock, who was slumping his head miserably. Ash looked towards him and shot him a reassuring smile when he met his eye.

"Don't worry, Brock-o," he called brightly, "I'll clear your name! Just watch!"

"May I ask that the defense refrain from making contact with the defendant?" the judge said irritably, looking tired.

"You already did," Gary muttered, shrugging.

"May I ask that the prosecution shut his mouth if he wants to get the last slice of cheesecake at the lab?" Judge Oak shot back, giving Gary an ironic smile.

"Hmph…" Gary shrugged, dropping the argument quickly. "Anyways, here's what happened the night of the murder. The victim, Temacu Himeka, had just gotten back home after a long trip, coming back from the Sinnoh region. It has been confirmed that a few days before she left for the Sinnoh region, the victim had broken up with the defendant. The time of death was somewhere around 2:45 PM, and the murder weapon, that Hitmonlee statue over there, had the defendant's fingerprints clearly on it. Two witnesses, a couple walking past after a date as well as a… er, delivery man… saw the scene take place."

"So, all three happened to pass by at the time?" the judge asked, looking startled. "Why did they do nothing?"

"Oh, well! I guess I kinda overdid that part," Gary said with a sheepish shrug. "It was only the delivery man… The couple saw the defendant walk into the house."

"Hm, seems like a pretty solid case," Judge Oak said slowly, rubbing his chin. "Alright, then! The court finds the defendant-!"

"W-"Wait!" Ash shouted suddenly. "What about the witnesses? We have no idea if they're legit – Er, telling the truth or not!"

The judge sighed rather loudly, but nodded. "Okay, okay… Prosecution?"

"Ah, whatever… The prosecution calls May Maple, the one with her boyfriend, to the stand…"

May came onto the stand in a hurry, the guards not able to keep up with her. Once she reached the podium she rested her arms onto it and sighed contently.

"Okay, I'm ready!" she said with a nod. "Cross-examine away, guy with the cool hair!"

"Huh." Ash grinned, and stroked his hair. It felt weird, not having his cap on, but it wasn't really appropriate to wear it in court, so…

"Ah ha, yeah! Judge?"

"Hm?" Professor Oak blinked and stood still for a second, before coming to his senses again. "Oh, yeah! Your testimony, please."

"Yes, Your Honor." May paused to take a deep breath, closing her eyes. "So, my… boyfriend Drew and I were coming back from a contest when we saw that guy, the defendant, walk into the lady's apartment. I couldn't see quite clearly, but he was definitely angry, and when I checked the time on my PokéNav when I reached my apartment about a minute later it was 2:39 – I remember it exactly!"

"Okay, Mr. Ketchum," the Judge said with a firm nod, you may begin your cross-examination."

"Er, o-okay…" Ash paused for a second, thinking it over. "Okay! Miss Maple! Are you sure you saw the defendant?"

May nodded. "Yes, I did. Spiky hair and all."

"That's enough!" Judge Oak said immediately. "I think we've gone through enough! The court finds the defendant, Brock Harrison… GUIL-"

"HOLD IT!"

The court gasped loudly as Detective Looker stormed in, holding a Pokéball.

"Your Honor!" he shouted, waving the ball in the air. "I've found amazing evidence that clearly proves the defendant is NOT GUILTY!"

The people in the court gasped once again, and Ash jumped, his heartbeat racing. Gary scoffed, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah?" he asked incredulously. "Let's see it, then!"

"Of course!" he said with a grin, "I present to you…!"

"HOOOLD IIIT!"

Just then, Misty rushed in, tackling down Looker.

"The only one who is guilty of anything is Ash Ketchum!" she shouted, pointing at said person. "His crime is even worse than anything!"

"What did he do?" the Judge asked, looking shell-shocked. It seemed like no one, not even he himself, cared how the trial was going.

Misty took a long, dramatic pause before glaring at Ash sternly. "He stole my BIKE!"

The crowd gasped.

"AND BROKE IT!"

By now, the court was going crazy. Shouts were arising from all areas and everyone – Judge Oak included – was throwing crap at Ash. Yes, literal crap.

"This is a monstrosity!" the Judge shouted over the uprising. "Ash Ketchum, I sentence you to over nine thousand years of DEATH!"

"I-It was an accident!" Ash whined, covering his ears. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean-!"

"WWWAAAAIT!" Looker roared. "NO ONE SAW MY EVIDENCE YET!"

In a blur, he tossed the ball to the ground and it hit the ground loudly, the red flash revealing a Nidoran.

"I present to you… The victims Nidoran!"

"And what does this have to do with anything?" Gary asked impatiently, unaffected by the current uproar.

"… Good question," Looker smiled at the people of the court for a second before shouting:

"NIDORAN, USE SELF DESTRUCT!"

Ash's eyes widened and Gary fell back in shock.

The last thing the court ever heard was Judge Oak's shout before all hell broke loose.

"YOU CAN HAAAAAX!"

**_BBBBBOOOOOOOMMMMM!_**

* * *

><p><em>The end. :D<em>

_Crack-ish piece made for the lovely authoress, immabeemee, for her birthday, which is tomorrow! _

_HAPPY B-DAY, LESS!_


End file.
